DEAR JESUS, I was at your house yesterday and I can't quite overcome this confused feeling I am having. You know, (of course you do), I love my church. I really do. There are so many things there for my kids to do. They absolutely love it there. Anyway, as I was sitting in the Sanctuary, I was overcome by this feeling of complete security. I felt so safe. I remember thinking, "If I could just sit right here, all the time, I can't possibly do anything that would disappoint you." We both know that is impossible. I can't stay in that beautiful, safe, peaceful place all of the time.

Just before the end of the service, I found out that the music minister is leaving. As you already know, my favorite preacher is leaving in soon. Now i'm feeling "not so safe". Is it the building I feel safe in? Is it the leaders who make me feel this way? I couldn't believe this was hitting me so hard, quite frankly. It's just music, right?

So I went to your house again last night. I listened to my favorite preacher. He is so honest and so raw, so funny and insightful, yet I feel like he could've been a great friend had I gotten to know him better. I guess there it is, huh? I should've taken the time to get to know him better. As I sat there and listened to him last night, he said something that did make me feel better. He said, "I'm not here for those of you who believe. I want to reach those who don't". It brought me back to my morning, in the security of our Sanctuary. A room full of 2,000 people. This was not where he was needed. It made his leaving somehow more acceptable for me now.

I suppose it is both the building and the ministry team that I am so drawn to. As I gazed around the HUGE Sanctuary at Christmas, each row was filled to overflowing capacity with gifts for the needy, and as I look over tearfully and watch as another becomes baptized, I know you are there in that building. As I listen to the voices that sing praises to you, the musicians who play so beautifully, I know that is where I belong. **Let's just keep the fact that I really can't sing a note our little secret, OK?** Lord, I just pray that you help can help guide me. Please help me find a little more time for me to show others how much I appreciate them, and a little more time for me to tell YOU how much I appreciate You,



Love, ME